The Ego... Me or You

This comes as a reply to “The Egoistic Me” (with permission from the original author):

Like I told you already, brother, you spoke only of the negative ego, and never mentioned there was a positive counterpart! Thus, here I go, starting with some italicized text that I wrote in a different context a few years ago. (References such as maaya or Rebirth bear relevance to the original context, and may thus be ignored.) I am no philosopher by training, but I feel that most of my rambling is acceptably true.

“Ego” is not always bad. In fact, “ego” is what keeps oneself very much in this world. If one is not egoistic, one cannot “feel” or “exist”, or even “exist the feelings” or “feel the existence”! Ego is not selfishness or self-centric nature. Ego is oneness – the true belief in “one” existence – the essence of most of the world’s philosophy. The nature of the human mind may define it narrowly sometimes and in some cases, but it’s not as harmful as it’s thought to be! That’s why most philosophies of the world preach that ego must be sustained, while life itself must be trivialized!
...
Equating ourselves with our desires is the famous and debatable maaya! Once we realize this and hold our “ego” higher than our “desire” and not worry/care about “hypocrisy”, the maaya is shattered for good! The “ego” is then the only existing entity – yours or mine does not matter! It’s The Ego! This is the unification of the jeeva-atma and the parama-atma! If an entity called God exists (as one or in multitude), the Gods unify into one, and that one identifies itself with The Ego. Death of The Ego never occurs – it’s eternal – the Absolute! Where, then, is the question of Rebirth? Or, would you know ever if there’s a Rebirth at all? The Ego diminishes in itself, shrinks, expands, fills the world, divides itself,
establishes itself in multitude, ...it’s the same Soul in every being – It never dies, it never withers, it never deteriorates, ...all It does is “exist”.
...

A disciple (unable to recollect his name – was it Ramananda?) suggested Vivekananda in his last days that the latter should undergo surgery for his kidney trouble, and that money will pour in to aid the Master. The Master ­–Swami Vivekananda – replied: “Why don’t you understand? I cannot live in this body any more! It’s too worn out to hold me! I need more space. I need to spread out into the world and carry out my deed...” (paraphrased from one of the publications by Sree Ramakrishna Math) – This “I” is the Ego!

I agree you already stated we’re not all Vivekananda-s. Well, of course, but we can take the good of what he said, like most other things we might have learnt from someone else including Vivekananda, can’t we?

Finally, not to make it too long, I’d end here for now, suggesting you to read Ayn Rand’s Anthem. :-)

Things are moving...

First, there was Paritrana. Then, I knew the emergence of Bharat Uday Mission (BM). Then, I was referred to two Yahoo! Groups, WeWillHelpYou (WWHY) and ToMakeADifference (MAD). Of all, much to my surprise too, I did not associate myself with the very first one and the most-widespread among all, Paritrana, yet! With others, I did join their Yahoo! Groups (including BM and BM-USA for the first one), and am observing the proceedings a bit silently and didn’t get into “action” anywhere yet, but well, I am involved anyway, mentally at least!

Why didn’t I associate with Paritrana, then? I am not exactly sure yet, but I guess it’s because I knew it, albeit formed by IIT-ians, as a political outfit first. BM is not going to be a political party until 2010-2011, as they state on their website, and I realize from their Group that they’re well into social activities already! Well, if the fire dies out by 2010, good still, since a died-out enthusiasm does not influence Indian political scenario. If the fire doesn’t die out, better yet, since it’s an enthusiasm that had been withstanding the societal affairs and the very state of it for the last five years then!

The other two are a lot different, in fact – there’s nothing political about them, now or in future. Moreover, these are not backed by brains such as IIT-ians or other students – these are real common people, just ordinary ones like you and I, who came together as a group (Well, two groups, yes, but there seems to be a lot of overlap among their members anyway!) to do greater good, within their reach, for the society! And, at least MAD is now celebrating its first anniversary as I type this! Isn’t it a pleasant thought that assures some confidence about the helping people in the group, and about the group itself, and about the way it’s striving to change things in the society? (In fact, these groups are more about helping needy individuals and families with monetary and material help in needs such as individuals’ education and/or health.) How can one be sure that the help is actually reaching the needy, if the organization itself doesn’t have proven track record or credibility? Well, the name is not popular, but it’s the faith that matters – the skeptical one can check out the groups’ archives, and files, to be sure for oneself!

I told a few people about all these organizations, but not many were enthusiastic. All these were people who expressed their desire to make a difference, but they just don’t have much time or space in their mind to get into action, mentally at least, at this time of their life, I guess. I am fine with it, and optimistic still, that these groups do get the recognition they deserve – at least, those who received the help feel that, and I am happy! And that’s exactly why I am more for the latter three groups than Paritrana – I don’t want to be associated with something that gets a name anyway. I would rather want to be a part of what needs an extra hand, and mind. I’m waiting for strength – moral, financial, social, and personal – to get into “action”, so to say.

Suddenly, humanity seems to have many more beacons to show the way –  definitely not stand-still, inert beacons – I’m talking about the real beacons that always show the way, those that move with you, those that are with you! There've always been some, and there are more now, and there'll be more in future, and there is, at one time, light all over the place!

Traffic in India: A solution proposed

This is from my own experiences in the city of Hyderabad in the year 2005, the last time I went to India. This is a solution that I found good enough to be implemented by anyone, and I wish people take cue and do the same as much as possible. This is applicable to all roads, all cities, all vehicles, and (nearly) always! This is from one person’s experience – so let’s be optimistic that this can be seen in all of our experience!

When you go on the road, if you see that a vehicle is violating a traffic rule – the most common being a red signal violation – do this:

1. Note down the license/registration number for the vehicle. If it’s a government-owned (RTC) bus, also note down the depot it belongs to (even the abbreviated name will do) and the start and end termini in its route.





2. Also, write down the date and time of the event, along with the best description of the place of occurrence.





3. Call the Traffic Police Control Room (you can get the appropriate number by calling 100 or directory enquiry in your city), or the Traffic Hotline/Help-line and lodge a complaint. If you can, get a policeman to write down the complaint on a “penalty ticket” (challan, as we call it in India) for the same.

The Traffic Police Control Room staff in Hyderabad informed me that the penalty ticket shall be sent by post to the vehicle owner’s registered address, and after three such penalty tickets that go unanswered, instructions will be given to seize the vehicle on sight. In the case of government vehicles including buses, the driver will be identified by the date and time of the event, and the penalty will be deducted from his salary. Three such penalties will require him to retake a license examination.

Believe me, people, this is really effective and does the job to a great extent. For instance, let’s assume I violate a traffic rule somewhere. If someone sees me and does the above, and I get a penalty ticket at my home, I may not care once. What if I get another one, and another one? Would I not panic, and go pay at least the last, and then stay put following rules as much as I can, ideally speaking? Well, I agree that many people might not be living at the address listed on their license, or even worse, some people might be driving someone’s vehicle! But then, we cannot let everyone pass just because of these exceptions!

At least in Hyderabad, the police were strict and sincere enough to write a penalty ticket for a police jeep that crossed a red signal when I lodged the complaint, also mentioning that it was a police vehicle!

It's a Relative Wor(l)d!

This comes as a reply to "The Real World" (with permission from the original author):

Positive and negative, success and failure, good and bad, real and virtual, you and I – everything is relative to something else. The mirror, which we believe so much to be showing the actual picture, deceives us by interchanging the right and left! You stand in front a mirror, raise your right hand, and call it "right" still, but you obviously don't call the same reference when it's someone else other than your reflection. Can you become I? Can I become you? If you answer affirmative, bingo! That's where your mutually opposite terms unite into One, don't ask which one!

Everything happens for your own good, yes. Even if you hit the consoler, it's for your own good – since it takes out your frustration for a second, and it's for the consoler's own good, since he/she would then be cautious when playing the consoler the next time! :-)

Bad doesn't become good if you just think everything happens for good. In fact, like I was saying, there'd be no more good and bad, there'd be just One – the issue. Anything as pure and clear as water is just as pure – colorless, tasteless, odorless! Thus, things don't "turn out" good – things just seem good, ...and that's when you go wrong (another "relative" term)! Why wrong? Because, bad is bad, but bad teaches lessons, and lessons are always good. If you turn a blind eye to bad, bad doesn't stop being bad, obviously, and you're now blindfolding yourself to the circumstances and to the truth. You got one thing right, bro! The cycle repeats – that's what a cycle always did! :-)

Think confident, yes, but did you think this: Is "confident" good?! Yes? Are you sure? Think again. Did you not lose sometimes when you were confident? ...when you knew the end result confidently but finally were in for a big surprise?

So, my point is this: Bad happened and it is definitely bad... ("so feel bad" is what you said. You may say that again, I don't mind!) but then learn the lesson û that's always good. If you feel bad and leave it at that... hmm! I'll tell you a short story here – a story you may have heard in a different context: Chanakya set out on some mission. On the way, a thorn pierced his foot. For the man he was, he was so enraged that he found that thorny bush in the darkness and set it afire, waited until it burned down, and ...walked on his mission. If bad happens, and all you do is feel bad, then it's like leaving your mission in the middle, in order to set the bush afire. Where's your mission? Pursue it, continue to pursue it!

Those who "boast" of their positive nature... first, don't you want to see that as confidence? ;-) If not, you may be biased, no? People with positive nature have more than a pinch of doubt and anxiety, sure, but then, they're still "positive", and you may want to call it "confident". Words – you choose them, brother! Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst – I believed this since long. Only later did I realize that this was preached in Vedic, Western, and Chinese philosophy alike! What does that tell you, sir? And, by the way, not all failure is laughing stock! We get our stock of laughing from success too. :-)

"...high goals can help". Positive about it? Or confident? ;-) Or both? Or optimistic? Or hopeful? ...See, each word is different, and each one fits the bill with some positive aspect to it. Positive or negative, it's all one thing – attitude. Realization – this, too, is something that has been held high by several schools of philosophy!

Imagine, analyze, realize, believe, implement... this is the protocol. If this fails, there's something else you missed – introspect. Break things into "modules", check each one for its validity, join them all. If you don't get a valid result, the "joining them all" was not seamless. Check for errors, repeat. Do I need to tell more? :-)

I'd like to hear others' input.

I finally knew. The change is in me!

After a long time, I know! I didn't know what I was doing all this while, but finally, I am back! I am not just back, but I realized I am new. Well, the basic me is still here with me, not necessarily in me though!

Now, what made me realize today that I am not the same old one? A lot of things that were happening since long were hinting me, hence the previous entry in my blog. The bubble finally burst now, a few moments before I type this post! And, I am using this great service to make note of this never-before event!

For the first time in my life, I voluntarily gave up a friend! Well, that was what he was, until we broke. Several times in the past, situations like this one arose, and I always stooped down as much as I could, and sometimes more than that, and mended the relation. Now, in this case, I didn't find it necessary! This guy was a lot important friend to me - a caring person, someone concerned about me all the time, and a person who needed my care and support sometimes. The world was green, and the larks sang sweetly always! Money played Satan, and (his) "credit history" was His weapon! This guy (Let's call him "J" ...no, it doesn't stand for jealousy here!) says I didn't stand by my word and it affected his credit history! He is true, I admit, but the way he expressed his anger and anguish made our friendship a history! No, actually! Not any more! If I am asked now, I don't even want it in my history!

I never knew I can denounce a person and a relation! I always felt bad if someone cut off a relation! And, sometimes, I felt sad that I don't do that! Now, I "achieved" it! Should I be happy? Why not!?

The world is still green, and larks never disappoint! I sing along... there's a lot in life, and a lot more, and still a lot more! Welcome, life!

Things have changed... or is it me?

Well, the changes may not be major really, but changes are changes.

Till a few days back, reading English novels was very unlike me, and in the two days that I hadn't posted, I completed another novel - an old (1981) novel "Invisible Fire" by Pat Graversen. Sort of thriller, the novel was not really a great one, and had an ending that wasn't all that dramatic (or, rather, too dramatic?)

I was a night person, and now, I'm trying to be otherwise, for the n^th time! Let's see what happens with this trial.

My career seems to be an issue of concern too... I'm a doctoral student of Biomedical Engineering, but now, how long would I be a doctoral student? Would/Can I wait long enough to get a Ph.D. in Biomedical Engineering? I don't know yet, but I know I still am as passionate about a Ph.D. as I was before I started, as passionate and devout as I was as when I was a six-year old child, when I probably first committed myself to Ph.D. in some field.

And, how unlike me is this! I, till now, didn't justify my posts on both margins! I generally never forget to do that with formatted text... but well, I think I'm seeing too much of change reading volumes between fineprint!

So long...

What's in a name?

...What's in one of my names, rather, is the question! So, here goes:

When I was a student of (Bapatla) Engineering College, I used to spend most of my time in the Computer Center (CC, as we used to call it). Students of my batch nicknamed me "CC Kiran" at that time. We had C programming language as a part of curriculum, by the way. Someone noticed that I wrote my name as "Kiran.C", (short for "Kiran Chakravarthula", actually, that's how I used to write it) and thought that I was so immersed in C programming that I, by mistake, wrote my name in the "filename.c" format! That's when "CC Kiran" transformed into ".C Kiran" (read as "dot-C Kiran"). Later, my friends saw that I was good at C programming, (by the time they saw me working with graphics and felt that I was good, I was actually not good at C... that was BASIC graphics that I was working on!) and then "dot-C" became a complimenting nickname for me. Eventually, I became a better programmer in C language and rose up to the level of deserving the name (in 1995, in Bapatla, which means I need not be a real geek!).

That's the story of my name ".C", which I use on my books and belongings, and also on my website, as a "trademark". (The "!" beside the "TM" indicates the exclamation in having a person's name as "trade"mark.)

As a sidenote, there's another guy in Chicago that I met on chat a few years ago, who was called "dotC" in engineering (reason unknown), and then there's another school-junior of mine who was also called "dotC" for the same reason as mine.

Still a newbie I am...

...but so what, I have three visitors now! (Teja, I dutifully engaged myself in more B2B publicity - by linking your blog from mine :-) !)

...but so what, I already inspired another friend to start bloggin'... he didn't yet post anything, and has the regular newbie answer "I can't think of anything worth posting..." (See, I already sound used to this kind of expression!)

...but so what, I'm posting a second blog today, which means I can now think "of something worth posting" or "what actually goes into this blog thing"!

...but so what, I already caught up with the habit of making my posts regular. (As I was telling Teja in an offline conversation, I can at least boast of my blog when I have to prove my time sense, which I generally exhibit poorly!)

...but so what, I also comment on another blog regularly. (And, I plan to visit your blogs too, Kiran & Alam - borrowing the nick from Teja.)

...but so what, I should learn when to stop!

At last...

...I got two more readers to this blog, thanx Teja! :-)

...I completed the novel "Omerta". I liked it... I always like tactical revenges by the protagonist - they are not unpredictable but at the same time each tactic the protagonist uses is always a thrill to the readers (and the antagonists, of course).

I don't think I'd want to spend time on it now, but what I felt after reading this novel was "Why don't I bring out a Telugu novel inspired by this, a novel that can be modified to be a grippin' movie script?" But, well, to be honest, I'm not good at producing prose in Telugu or in any language, and I have never actually ventured into movie scripting yet! Moreover, this is not the first English novel that made me feel so - I somehow like to convert any literary work into Telugu, I feel. Thanks to my laziness, readers are saved most of the time!

Still Undecided...

I, still, am not sure as to what goes in here. Well, I guess this is a usual newbie-blogger feeling, and I also think I'd not be sure even after a few days! So, I'd better get used it, I now feel.

First, to answer my comments, (Can I do this or not? I don't know!) Teja, it's not that I am "something", but the photo means that I am "some thing". You didn't get me, right? Forget it, even I didn't get it right! :-P

I may be an avid reader, but I rarely read English novels - I can count them on my single hand (not considering the numerous novels in Hardy Boys series some 15 years back, and a few other such series). I tell this because this time I started (reading) another English novel - "Omerta" by Mario Puzo. Mafia dons and stuf - is it his routine stuff? (I knew he wrote "The Godfather", but I neither read it nor saw the movies based on the novel.) Don't break any suspense if you read that, please! :-)

That's for now, folks! (Reminds me of Buggs Bunny!)

What shalt I write?

I didn't catch up while the whole world started bloggin'! But, now, when a close friend said that he recently started blogging, I thought I'd join the band too!

Now that I started, I'd better write something... but I'm yet undecided about what goes into a blog and what does/need/should not. Let's see... rather, I'd see and then let you see!

...Today marks the birthday of a younger brother who's so far that I cannot wish him... it'd be a nice way to start my blogging with a wish for a sweet little brother! Many happy returns of the day, bro! You may not ever see this, but well, this stays archived for ever (am I too optimistic about Internet and blogs?) and you can see it anytime in future! Take care, and I love you all the same!

When I don't have much to write, I better stop! (Still trying to learn this habit...!)